I...cannot believe this. Really. I'm living in a fucking sitcom or something.
So. My grandma went and sent me a box of goodies for Chinese New Years and all. Like, yummy food and a nice card (no $$, thank god). And she told me last sunday that she already posted it, so it should be there in about a few days; I've been looking foward to this all week. And the post office is retarded and sent the package to the wrong person.
Apparently, he got drunk and spewed all over the package the next day. Like, he got this package, decided to tell me the next day, and proceeded to go and get smashed that night, which led to him stumbling back in the not-so-wee hours of the morning and throw up on the kitchen counter where my OPENED package was. I don't know why he opened it. I think he did to just see what's inside even though it's blatantly not his.
But anyway, pretty much everything inside is now covered in gooey orangey-stuff.
And he told me this morning, offered to repay me (um, for homemade Chinese food from my grandma? That's worth a million bucks man and your hide) and proceeded to actually give me the vomit filled box this morning. I'm not joking. He thought giving me a box of his vomit was smart or something.
Um, yeah, I kinda stared at him funny, then told him to throw away the box and disinfect his fucking car. (I wanted to tell him to shove the vomit up his ass for being retarded but...it was early, ok?)